sex: be prepared when you start

If/when you decide to have sex, be prepared to take responsibility for any of the emotional, mental, and physical outcomes that emerge from your actions.

I once heard a young woman say she stopped taking birth control and wasn’t planning on telling the guy she was having sex with. Her intention was to get pregnant and essentially trap the guy into being a relationship with her. This guy lived with his son’s mother, who he was not married to and probably had no intention to. He didn’t have much of an education and I don’t remember whether he was employed. Needless to say, I was equally shocked and appalled by both of them. At the very least, their irresponsible/reckless behavior.

Sex means something different for everyone. There are some people who wait until marriage to have sex, some who have sex only when they’re in a committed relationship, others who enjoy casual sex, others who use it to fill an emotional void, and the list goes on and on. The reason doesn’t matter.

If you are sexually active, protect yourself. Use protection such as birth control and condoms. You cannot trust your partner(s) to keep your health or best interests in mind. You also can’t always trust that your partner doesn’t have other sexual partners. Make sure you and your partner(s) are tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), ideally before you two become active. Talk about it with your partner. At the very least, ask the other person. It’s better to be safe (and prepared) than sorry.

Not convinced? Consider these possible consequences and how one could completely alter your life: The cost of birth control for one month vs. the cost of baby food, diapers, and child care for one month. The cost of condoms vs. the cost of taking antiretroviral drugs for HIV. If you’re pro-choice, the emotional aftermath of an abortion. If you’re pro-life, the physical, emotional, and mental stress of raising a child by yourself. Or finding yourself in a less than desirable relationship. Or out of a relationship. Or knowing your partner cannot afford to pay child support. Or having someone else take care of your child because you cannot. Or delaying your goals because your new top priority is to be someone’s parent.

If you plan to start or are having sex, be smart about it. All it takes is one careless, irresponsible experience to turn your life upside down.