i sharted and my new phone

Posted in Uncategorized by Diana on March 5, 2011

That’s right.

I sharted.

Not today, thankfully, but it did happen earlier this week. In keeping true to keeping my blog full of honest insights and experiences, I’m sharing this information with you.

“What is ‘sharted’?” you ask.

Think about it. Two words combined into one. Both are actions the lower half of your body usually performs though in normal circumstances they occur separately from or consecutively of each other. Definitely not simultaneously.

If you’ve ever watched Napoleon Dynamite, you know that his favorite animal is the Liger. Liger = lion + tiger.

Now, combine two bodily actions into one word.

Still don’t get it?

Fine, fine. I’ll help you out.

Shart = sh*t + fart.


Now it’s all out there.

My classiness is effectively out the window, right?

Or should we say down the drain?

The bit lma (hashak) drain to be precise.

My new phone is, quite frankly, a gift from the phone heavens.

My old phone. How do I even describe the relationship I had with you?

Let’s see…you rested in my back pocket a few times. Even though I hardly have any junk in my trunk, the couple times I bent down to play with children I caused your screen to crack. Then I dropped you once and that added another crack.

But still, I remained true and still kept using you.

When I went to Paris last fall, I turned you off for a few days so that I didn’t drain the battery life. When I returned to Morocco and turned you on, I could no longer hear the person I was talking to unless I pressed “loudspeaker.”

Still, I remained faithful and kept using you. And sharing the conversations I had with people on the phone with which ever Moroccans were within earshot (and could understand English).

This new phone plan…when I heard about it, and the option to get a new phone, I was torn. I didn’t want to give up on you. You’ve been good to me. The built-in flashlight still works after all.

But today, perhaps an hour before I was to go into the office, you committed the unthinkable. You cut off a conversation I was having.

It’s okay, though. I forgive you. In some way, you kept working until I could get a (free) new phone. I thank your electronic parents for that.

As for my new phone, not only can I talk to people without putting them on loudspeaker but – and here’s one of the best if not the best feature – THERE’S A RADIO!!!!

*insert BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!*

Why is this the best part?

My iPod died in January and I wasn’t sure if I’d replace it. Heck, getting a new one would be expensive – hello, American dollars not Moroccan dirhams – and I don’t want to spend money on a brand new one while in Morocco. Plus, I enjoy having time to read too.

My long transit rides have been painful without music. Or the ability to pretend to listen to music in an attempt to ignore chatty Moroccans. Books don’t always work.

But now, now, I can plug earphones in and tune Morocco out. YES!!!

There are a handful of radio stations with Top 40, English, and contemporary music. I’m hoping to find NPR, BBC, or some channel where I can tune in for news, inshallah.


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